Two Ways To Boost Your Child’s Confidence
1. Using Music To Help Kids Be More Confident
You don’t need me to tell you about the power of music. We all know how hard it is to resist the beat of a good track, before long your toe is tapping and quite possibly you’ll be humming the tune for hours after you heard it.
Don’t you think that’s amazing, that even when we don’t here a song for 30 years when it comes on the radio we can recall all the words? The brain is a wonderful thing. If we can connect to music that we listened to as kids and that music contained lyrics of positive reinforcement and encouragement, wouldn’t that be a fantastic thing to carry with us?
But the thing is, it’s not just theory, in a 2018 New York Academy of Sciences study on music training and child development, they concluded that music training induces brain and behavioural changes in children, and those changes are not attributable to pre-existing biological traits. So what can we do now to help our child’s confidence that they can carry with them in 25 years time?
Find songs with a great tune and a great message of course!
Part of the problem is that a lot of kids music makes you want to plug your ears with marshmallows it’s that bad!
Or maybe that’s just me!
Because I believe that using music is a great way to build child’s confidence, I enlisted the expert help of Rachel Davis from Lala Tigers as one of the guest masterclass experts in The Wonder Mom Success Club. She is an NLP practitioner and musician with her life’s mission to help kids create deeper connections and build their confidence levels, both of which the help your kids to become more independent, freeing up time for you! Win-Win!
And not all kids music is terrible, as Rachel proves with some of her banging tracks such a “Pick up your pants” and I absolutely love this collab between Will.i.am and Sesame Street. Even though my son is now a teen he still sings along and does the actions when he hears it unless we are in public because you know, that wouldn’t be cool!
I used to use this song back in my teaching days, I have dusted off my notes and created a lesson pack for you…
2. Building Child’s Confidence By Gifting Them More Practice Time
Back in the day, when I was teaching I taught kids aged 2-12 mostly. One of the things I noticed was that the kids that could do things for themselves were happier and more confident.
I had one class of 5-year-olds, they were a great group of kids, really eager and a load of fun to teach. One of the little boys in the class had a mom who doted on him, which was lovely but she wasn’t doing him any favours.
He struggled with basic things like putting on his indoor shoes by himself and getting out his books. Not difficult tasks by any means but his mom was doing everything for him so he wasn’t learning how to do it himself. Which at the end of the day was a disservice to him. After a couple of months, I decided enough was enough and stopped her from coming into the classroom in a passive-aggressive kind of way!
At the end of the class I would ask the kids to put their things away, no problem for all the other kids except this one lad who would wait for his mom to do it for him and this is when he would have a personality change, he would turn from a fun-loving kid an entitled brat. Not on my watch mister!
I changed up my routine and would stand at the door blocking the view of “helpful mama” and then would ask the kids to tidy up. The first couple of weeks were hard, he whined, the mom complained that she wasn’t able to come into the classroom, my manager was confused but I stuck to my guns. The other kids, reluctantly at first (because they knew his mom would come in and do it for him eventually) helped him to put his things away in his bag, showing him rather than doing it for him.
And then we started to see a change.
Once he figured out he could do it by himself, he did. And not only that he would help anyone else who was struggling or would put their books away whilst they were tidying up something else. He left the classroom laughing and full of fun rather than being a grumpy, whiny horror.
All he needed was TIME and SPACE to practice.
Often we are in such a rush to get out of the door or to do this or do that, kids practice time gets pushed aside because “It’s quicker if I do it for you” – ever used that line? yeah, me too!
We get impatient, the child gets frustrated it ends in meltdowns, often us as much as them but even more, it knocks the child’s confidence and belief in themselves that they can do it. Just imagine every time you try and put your shoes on, someone takes over and tells you it’s quicker if they do it for you… makes you think right?
I totally get it, we have things to do, places to go, we are busy mamas!
But slowing down and giving your kids the extra few minutes to practice putting on their shoes, getting dressed, pouring their own cereal, packing their own bag etc. is what they need to be able to learn how to do it for themselves.
Maria Montessori recognised that kids go through a huge growth spurt aged 3-6 years old, not just physically but mentally too and as parents, we need to stand back a bit and let them grow. We need to set up the home to help them achieve this, we go through this in the Wonder Moms Success Club because
- It’s important to raise kids that grow into responsible, capable adults.
- If your kids are able to do things for themselves then that is less time they are taking from you (and more time for you to work on your business!)
Where to start?
There is a cheat sheet at the end of the post and then there is this…
If you have a toddler then this is a great trick. We went to visit the in-laws one winter and Ebi-kun was trying to put his coat on as shown below but each time he put it on the floor, Baa-chan (his gran) would pick it up. He was getting really annoyed and she thought she was helping, my husband had to step in before a meltdown happened.
Once he had shown he could put on his coat they were both cheering and happy!
If you are wondering what kind of jobs your child can do, then grab this free cheatsheet – start delegating jobs out, get the kids helping around the home so that you can free up time for you, and they are learning how to be helpful humans too!