Being a productive mom is not the same as being a busy mom (every mom I know is a busy mom!) and being a happy mom also plays a part in how productive you are.
So how do you go from being an unhappy busy mom to a productive happy one?
Just because you are a mom doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice your happiness. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs you’ll ever have. You are taking care of your own physical needs, your children’s needs, and all your responsibilities outside of your home.
We can all relate to the times when mom is exhausted, deeply unhappy, and fed up with the world but has to soldier on and… how the emotion that mom is carrying has a knock-on effect with the kids. Turning them into grumpy little monsters.
I know I have had times when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and say to hell with it all. And because my own need weren’t been met, I was angry, grumpy, short-tempered, frustrated. All the qualities of a mom that you don’t want to be. And of course, my moods affected everyone else.
I can see that now but at the time, I was so caught up in all that it was difficult to understand why everything was so crappy. Why life was so hard, why I couldn’t get things finished and why everybody was so bloody miserable.
If only I knew all this back then!
The Research that shows happy workers are more productive
A study conducted by researchers at the University of Warwick found that there was a causal link between happiness and productivity. 12% higher levels were attained in individuals who exhibited increased happiness in the experiments conducted in which an intervention was administered simply to make participants happier.
So is happiness a motivator in our work? In this study, scientists conclude that a positive effect does in fact predict high levels of primary control striving. In other words, when individuals experience positivity at work, they become more motivated to invest time and effort and overcome obstacles when things get hard pursuing their goals. This is in part because they believe they have more control over attaining their goals.
This is why company’s like Google make their work environment a fun place to be. Although there isn’t much on the way of research when it comes to happy moms being more productive, it stands to reason that a paid worker is more productive when happy, then a mom is also likely to achieve the same results.
And whilst we might not be able to have ball pits, free cake counters and a Segway at home, there are things we can do to up the happy meter.
Here are some things you can do to be happier as a mom.
Put you first
Yes, you have heard it a thousand times before but do you actually do it?
When you start to put your own needs first and have your own needs met then you instantly feel happier! What that looks like will differ for everyone but it might be something on the lines of…
- Taking a walk in nature
- Having time to work on a hobby
- Spending time with friends
- Learning or practicing a new skill
- Getting your hair done
- Having a massage
- Having time to connect with your spiritual side
- Quality time with your partner
- Curling up with a good book
- Taking a class or course
- Time to meditate
When you start feeling good about yourself, then your happiness barometer naturally starts to rise and the easiest way to achieve that is by taking the time to do something you love or makes you feel good.
When you have a happy mom you have a happy home!
Tweak your language to be a happier, more productive mom
“I should do this” “I have to get that done”
If you catch yourself using these phrases, pull yourself up and change them, use:
“I choose to do this” instead.
That simple switch in languages changes the situation from one that feels like it has been forced upon you, to one where you have a choice.
But also ask yourself if you do HAVE to do something.
It is OK to say no. If you struggle with setting boundaries and need some scripts on how to say no, you can find some here.
The same goes for when you are feeling rushed, instead of
“I don’t have time” “I haven’t got time for this” or other negative sentences, change it to
“I have all the time I need” and throw in a few deep breaths for good measure!
It might sound ridiculous but it works.
Focus on the positive
As soon as you start focusing on the negative, things go from bad to worse. To change that start focusing on the positive. Rather than seeing what your kids did wrong today, look at the things they did right. I have a free webinar on how to do this effectively and not only that, get the kids helping out more!
The fun thing is, when you start expressing this to the rest of the family, their attitude changes for the better too.
I’m not saying ignore bad behaviour but instead of falling down that rabbit hole of picking up on every little thing they do wrong, choose to ignore the unimportant stuff and instead, tell them what a great job they are doing instead.
Stop and think. Are you being a productive mom or a busy one?
This is a double-whammy! Not only is it a happiness booster – because you are letting go of something you don’t enjoy or causes you to get stress out. It is also freeing up time for you, more free time, which means you have the time to do what YOU want to do, which takes us back to point #1.
A thing I notice with my coaching clients is often they are on autopilot. And it’s not until I stop and ask them to think about what they are doing and why, then the changes can be made.
If you are just doing things because that’s the way it’s always been done, then it’s time to stop and decide whether you actually want to do it and what are the consequences if you stop. If you drop the busy work – and this goes for running a business too, not just your family, you will have the time for more important things.
Sometimes we feel deeply unhappy because we are stuck in a rut and we can’t see how to get out. When the easy answer is just to stop.